Good For Nothing
by HollyWritesFanfics
Summary: Tony tells Peter that he can't be Spider-Man anymore. Tony thinks it's a great idea, Peter will be safe this way. Little does he know that although Peter may look okay on the outside, he's breaking on the inside. Sequel to So This Is Real? *Warning: Self harm*
1. Chapter 1

**Sequel to So This Is Real? If you haven't read that one you should :) If not, you could read the description for it and hopefully you get all the information you need out of it.**

**And now, Chapter One...**

It had been a week since Tony told Peter he couldn't be Spider-Man anymore.

Tony had had some rough weeks in his past. Really rough weeks. He had been tortured, abused, or depressed. Surprisingly, this week seemed to top them all.

Word got around the tower that Tony wouldn't let Peter be Spider-Man. Nobody agreed with that decision. The team thought that after a couple of days Tony would realize how stupid he was to limit Peter. They were wrong.

Peter still hadn't said a word to Tony. Even the rest of the team started talking to him less. The Avengers hoped that the silent treatment would get through to him, make him understand how much it affected Peter to have him stop talking to his real life hero. Instead, it made Tony's decision even firmer.

As if it was a game of some sort. Tony took it as a challenge to not break. And he didn't.

Peter, on the other hand, was breaking. He didn't show it though. He truly didn't understand what Tony could be thinking. How could this help him?

Most days Peter stayed locked in his room. All of his suits were confiscated, even his beginner suit... if it could even be called that.

His web shooters were taken too. Some nights Peter would open the window, look at the city, and feel the slight breeze blow over his face.

It was the only thing that could comfort him. The worst part was when he could swear he heard a scream. Like someone was in trouble. His enhanced senses made the possibility pretty common.

He desperately wanted to help. He'd see the flashes of blue and red from police cars below. Way too many times.

Tony wouldn't even let Peter go to visit Ned. Not that Peter went to ask, he would just try to leave. Tony always tried asking something, like, "where do you think you're going?" But Peter just stayed silent and turned around to go back to his room.

Which was what just happened.

For maybe the 4th time this week Peter headed down, backpack strap slung across his shoulder, with the intent to go to Ned's. To get out of the tower. Away from Tony.

Funny, he never thought he'd say that before.

The doors locked as he went to open them, and F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke.

"You are not allowed to leave the tower, Peter."

Just then, Tony came down, asking the famous question, "And where do you think you're going?"

Peter just sighed and rolled his eyes, then turned around and started heading back to his room. He didn't really expect a different outcome. It was almost as if he had to prove that Tony hadn't won. That no matter how many times he was told no, he wouldn't give up trying to get away from him.

"You can't ignore me forever," Tony shouted at a retreating Peter.

That only made the kid run, as if to say "yes I can"

Once he reached his room, Peter slammed the door. He locked it, and threw his backpack onto the floor. Tears flooded his eyes as Peter put his hands on his head, muttering words to himself.

"Stupid F.R.I.D.A.Y. Stupid tower. Stupid rules. Stupid everything!" Peter nearly shouted, kicking at things on the floor. He took off his shoes and chucked them at the wall.

"Stupid Tony. Stupid life. Stupid—ah" Peter stopped, cutting himself off after stepping on a piece of broken glass.

He remembered breaking a cup when he was frustrated earlier today. He told himself he'd clean it up later. Guess he forgot, seeing as it was still there. Whoops.

Peter sat down on the end of his bed and looked at his foot. A huge piece of glass had cut through his sock and was almost halfway into his foot.

"Son of a—" Peter hissed upon touching the glass.

He ended up just cutting the sock off, which made it way easier to take out the glass. He wrapped his foot, and proceeded to wash the blood off of himself.

Seeing his blood only reminded him of when he was tortured. Which only made Peter think of how Spider-Man was over with, and he was still stuck living in this prison.

In that moment, an idea sparked in Peter's head. Stepping on the glass made him forget the pain. Sure his foot hurt like hell, but it was worth forgetting the emotional pain, even for a couple of minutes.

He picked up the piece of glass, and hesitantly pressed it against the skin on his left arm. He pushed down, and cut towards himself, blood spilling out.

While it hurt, it also felt good. Satisfying. He cut again. And again. Most were shallow cuts, considering Peter had never done this.

After about 8 cuts, he stopped and went to wash the blood off. He put the water on hot, making each cut sting even more. He had a bit of déjà vu seeing the blood go down the drain.

The cuts weren't deep enough to scar, and with Peter's super healing he'd be fine in 2-3 days tops. He'd have to explain what happened with there being a bloody towel, but him stepping on glass wasn't a lie. It just wasn't the full truth.

"You are bleeding, do you need help?" Peter jumped when he heard F.R.I.D.A.Y.

"No, I'm good," Peter said to the AI.

"I could get Mr. Stark. He has protocols for when things like this happen to the other Avengers," F.R.I.D.A.Y. said.

"No!" Peter almost shouted, then continued with a calmer voice, "I mean, I'm fine. I just stepped on a piece of glass, I'll be okay."

"You also have cuts on your arm," F.R.I.D.A.Y. said.

"Yeah, but it doesn't hurt, I bet it won't even show by tomorrow," Peter stated.

"If you insist. Mr. Stark has me alert him when the other Avengers get hurt. Would you like me to alert him when you get hurt as well?" F.R.I.D.A.Y. asked.

"No, that won't be... necessary. If it's a serious injury I know I can't handle then I'll tell you to let him know. Otherwise do not say a word to him. Okay?" Peter asked, looking up at the ceiling for a response, wherever the sound from the AI came from.

"Very well, Peter," F.R.I.D.A.Y. said.

Peter internally sighed. He cleaned up the rest of the mess, and threw away all the shards of glass.

Nobody was going to find out. They couldn't. Not the Avengers, and definitely not Tony. It was a one time thing anyways, so he had nothing to worry about, right?

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**Hey! I'm back with a SEQUAL! Never thought I'd make a sequel to a story, but here we are. Thanks to everyone who came along for the ride on the first story :) Welcome to anyone who's new on this one.**

**Hope this was a good first chapter. Please leave a review :D**


	2. Chapter 2

Peter woke up in a sweat. Another bad dream. He shook his head in disappointment at himself. It was almost as if Spider-Man meant more to him than Aunt May. Not that it did, but he had a completely different reaction to this than when he found out Aunt May...

He never finished that sentence. Not in his head or out loud. It always sent a shiver down his spine at the thought of what had happened.

He looked at his arm and saw that the cuts had gotten significantly better than he had expected. It looked like a cat scratched him, nothing worse.

Just then, he heard the door handle being turned. Rather than pretend to sleep this time, he sat up and looked at who came through the door.

It was the last person on earth he wanted to see.

Tony's eyes locked with Peter's for a brief second. Immediately, Peter went back to laying down, turning away from Tony and covering himself with the blankets.

Peter felt a weight presses against the edge of the bed, but remained still. He was not going to talk to Tony. Not now, not ever.

"You want to tell me what's going on?" Tony asked.

Peter did exactly what Tony thought he would do. Nothing. Tony always loves to be right, but at this exact moment he wishes he wasn't.

"Look," Tony said, sighing, "I get that Spider-Man meant a lot to you. I know you're mad, but-"

Tony was cut off by Peter abruptly pulling the covers off of himself and getting out of the bed.

"What are you-"

But before Tony could finish asking his question, he saw Peter grab a notebook and tear out a piece of paper. Peter turned on the lamp light on his desk. He furiously took a pencil and started writing on it, getting even angrier when the lead broke from how hard he was pushing it onto the paper.

He grabbed a pen and finished what he was writing, then practically shoved it in Tony's face.

The note read, half pencil half pen: _Mad?! Isn't that the understatement of the century. I'm absolutely pissed. Furious. Enraged. You have no idea how much it meant to me. _

Again, Tony sighed, then rolled his eyes.

"Seriously? You're not going to talk to me but you think writing something is different?" Tony said.

Peter just crossed his arms and glared at Tony.

"Can't you think about this from my perspective? Wouldn't you want to protect someone, even if it meant stopping them from doing something they love?" Tony asked, almost as mad as Peter.

Peter contemplated what Tony said, then shook his head. He understood that he risked his life every time he went out as Spider-Man. But he also understood that he saved many others as well.

"You're unbelievable," Tony said, "You want to be ungrateful and not accept that I'm just trying to help, fine. But don't think that my mind will change. Definitely not anytime soon."

He angrily left the room, and if it weren't for the rest of the Avengers being asleep he would have slammed the door. Instead he slammed it as quietly as he could.

Peter wanted to scream, yell, shout, anything. He violently punched the air, wanted to get his emotions out.

There was a balcony to his room. What if he just left? He could do it. Tony says he could catch him, but is he really able to do that? Or is he bluffing?

No, he couldn't risk that. Then his hopes of being able to at least visit a friend's would never happen. Why did Tony have to sign some papers to have legal custody over him? Shouldn't he get a say?

Maybe he could lie about how he's being treated? Technically Tony is kind of emotionally abusive right? No... not like that. What would the Avengers think of him if he said that? Besides, Tony's life was on the news everyday. He couldn't mess that up, no matter how much he hated him.

A glint caught Peter's eye, and he looked to the trash can in his room. The piece of glass was at the top of the pile. It hadn't been touched since his... accident.

Peter turned around and looked at the clock on his night stand. 4:47 am, it read. In a couple of seconds Peter made a decision on what he was going to do.

He picked up the piece of glass, and headed for the shower. He could put just one or two more cuts on his arm, and it would be healed by tomorrow morning. He would just have to wear a long sleeve today.

In the shower, one or two cuts turned to seven or eight. He didn't know why, but he couldn't stop. There was something the pain did that helped him... forget about his problems.

Sure it stung, but he's had worse injuries. He turned the shower up to the highest heat it could go. His skin was boiling, and the burning water running through his fresh cuts made the stings even... better?

Peter put the piece of glass down. That was it. He was done. Afterwards he could take out the trash and throw the glass away with it. Then he could finally stop.

He did his usual morning routine, brushing his teeth, drying his hair, the usuals. He tied the knot on the trash bag and threw it away.

Peter thought the glass was why he had hurt himself. Stepping on it was a mistake, and now that it was gone so was the mistake of cutting himself.

Little did he know, he was completely wrong.

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**READ PLEASE :D**

**So I know this one is kind of repetitive, sorry about that.**

**Another thing though, I know you guys see "Read and Review Please 3" everywhere, but it actually helps me a lot. I don't think you guys understand how much faster I would write these chapters if I got a ton more reviews than I did. Still, I appreciate the follow and things like that :)**

**You guys are awesome, thanks :) Until the next chapter...**


	3. Chapter 3

_Darkness _

_That was all Peter could see. Then, light suddenly filled his vision. As his eyes adjusted, he could finally see what was in front of him. _

_He was in a well lit alleyway, alone with nothing but a dumpster next to him. Unlike most dreams, he could actually move in this one. _

_He stared at his hands as he saw himself able to lift his arms and move his fingers. He noticed he was in his Spider-Man suit, without the mask. A scream caught his attention, making him turn his head. Not just any scream. Aunt May's scream. _

_To Peter's right, there was another alleyway across the street. It wasn't as lit up as the one he was in, but he could still make out the people in it and what was going on. _

_First, he saw Aunt May. His heart ached at what he knew was now a memory, and another nightmare that would haunt him forever. _

_Second, he saw that she was being held hostage, gun pressed against her head. What was worse was the person holding it. None other than his torturer. _

_"Howells," Peter spat._

_"Remember me?" Howells said in a sarcastic voice. _

_"Let her go," Peter warned. _

_Howells just laughed, "And why would I do that? You took who I loved most, it's only fair I take who you value!"_

_"Please," Peter practically begged. _

_He couldn't stand having these dreams repeat themselves. Watching Aunt May die in so many different ways. _

_"I'll give you ten seconds to stop me. Don't, and I'll blow her brains out," Howells said, pushing the gun harder against Aunt May's head, making her whimper._

_"No!" Peter screamed, as he started to run towards Howells. _

_In a second, Peter felt something forcefully grab his arms. He jolted backwards, trying to scramble to his feet and make it to May._

_Peter looked behind him to see what was holding him back. He was surprised to see it was a person, rather than being tied down like he normally would be in these scenarios. _

_It was Tony. His eyes were empty as he held Peter's arms. It may have been a dream—no, a nightmare, but it felt like the grip Tony had on his arms would leave a nasty bruise. _

_"Don't you remember what I said, Peter? No more Spider-Man. No more saving the day," Tony said._

_"What?! You have to let me help her-"_

_"10," Howells said, cutting Peter off as he began counting down._

_Peter turned back around to face Howells and his aunt. May's face was filled with horror. _

_"9"_

_"Stop," Peter said, trying to shake himself free from Tony's grasp. _

_"8," Howells said, a sinister smile crossing his face that seemed to keep growing wider by the second._

_"Let me go! I have to—"_

_"7"_

_"Please!" Peter pleaded, trying to break free. _

_"6"_

_"Help me Peter!" Aunt May said, tears rolling down her face. _

_"5"_

_"No! You can't!" Peter was fuming, but still wasn't able to get out of Tony's grip. _

_His cheeks were red and his face was hot as floods of tears poured out of his eyes. _

_"4"_

_With every passing second, Peter got angrier. He tried kicking at Tony. Clawing at the hands that held his arms, desperate to save his aunt. _

_"3," Howells said, slowing down his counting and cocking the revolver in his hand. _

_"Please! You, she—I-I can't go through this again," Peter said, looking like a mess with his face covered with his own tears. _

_"2"_

_"Peter, please, help me! I need you, I—"_

_"1," Howells said, his finger starting to wrap itself tighter against the trigger. _

_Peter closed his eyes and looked down, hearing his aunt scream and waiting for the sound of the gunshot to end her life. _

_Instead, his head was yanked up by his hair. He was no longer being held by Tony, he was chained. Tony was in front of him now. He was the one who grabbed a fist full of Peter's hair and forced him to look up. _

_"You think you can close your eyes and make it go away? You're going to watch this, whether you like it or not," Tony said. _

_At first Peter was confused. Before he could even think of anything though, he saw Aunt May and Howells again. Gun still pressed to her head. _

_He closed his eyes, about to look down again before being stopped. Forcefully his head was yanked up to look straight. His eyes were pried open by Tony, forcing him to watch. _

_The same horrible thing happened. Aunt May was shot. He heard her scream, then everything fell silent. She was dead. He failed her. He couldn't even save her in his dreams which he had control in._

_"She isn't the only one you've failed," Peter heard Tony say as other scenes appeared in front of him. _

_More people being threatened. More people he was unable to save. Again, he tried to rush to their aid. But Tony still held him back. _

_"Remember, you're not Spider-Man anymore. You can't help them," Tony said._

_The grip on Peter's arms somehow tightened even more, yet he didn't give up trying to get free. _

_"No!"_

Peter opened his eyes, his arms being held by Tony. Peter looked at him with absolute terror in his eyes.

Tony noticed immediately, then proceeded to ask, "Geez kid, are you okay?"

"S-stay away!" Peter said, finally able to pull his hands out of Tony's grasp. He didn't even care that he broke his vow to not speak to Tony, he just wanted to be as far away from him as possible.

Tony, shocked Peter said something to him, didn't know what Peter said at first. Then it registered to him, and he was confused.

"What's wrong, Peter?" Tony asked, not caring to hide the concern in his voice.

"No, l-leave me alone!" Peter said, pressing his back against the bed frame and pulling the covers up to his chest.

"Hey, what happened? You can tell me, it's all right," Tony said comfortingly, trying to scoot closer to Peter.

This only made the teen shrink back further, and he was slightly... shaking?

"Pete-"

"Now's n-not a good time. Please, leave," Peter said, shivering in fear.

Tony hesitated, but thought he made some sort of progress in having the kid talk to him. He decided to give Peter what he wanted.

"Okay," Tony said, then quietly left the room.

Once the door shut, Peter sighed. He did not want to be under the same roof as Tony. Sure, he knew it was just a dream, it wasn't the real Tony. But waking up and him being right there, holding his arms like he was scared him.

It wasn't until now he Peter realized how hot he was. He tossed the blankets off the bed, but ended up sitting on the floor instead, he was so hot. Sweating.

Back pressed against the cool wall, Peter looked around. This room was a lot bigger than the one at the apartment, but he hated it.

Living in this room meant living without Aunt May. Gosh, it's been over a month now, why wasn't he over it? Or at least close to being over it.

Peter looked at the stuff in his room he had here that he didn't in his old room. He hadn't put up anything on the walls but a clock, and the rest of the room was pretty boring.

His bed sheets were a dark red with nothing on them. His bed frame was a simple one made of wood, with storage compartments underneath it.

Peter frowned, he remembered putting stuff in there but he couldn't remember what. He scooted towards the bed and opened the first drawer.

He laughed quietly as he saw old pajamas he got when he was 6. They were so small, but Aunt May got them for him and he couldn't throw them away.

He opened the second drawer, which was empty. Maybe he didn't put much of anything in these drawers.

Peter opened the last drawer, and what he saw made his heart ache even more. Inside were the wrapped presents Aunt May had gotten him for his birthday.

Peter smiled at the wrapping. Normally, they had birthday wrapping paper. There was one time though, for his last birthday when Aunt May had used Christmas wrapping paper instead, because she was out of the birthday kind. It made him laugh, and May said from them on she would use Christmas paper on every present.

He still had yet to open the Christmas themed presents. Curious, Peter decided it was finally time to see what was inside the wrapped boxes.

He slowly tore off the paper. The fact that Aunt May herself wrapped these made Peter feel bad for opening them.

The first box was average size, and he opened it up to see what was inside. He took out a bag with the label 'Gym Chalk' on it.

Peter instantly knew why Aunt May got him it. He remembered getting into working out more, and telling her how he didn't like the feel of the padded gloves that gave you grip.

Aunt May, being the great gift giver she is—was, Peter corrected himself, had gotten him the chalk to use on his hands so he could have grip and not wear the stupid gloves.

He put down the bag and picked up the second gift. It was smaller and wrapped tighter than the other one had been.

Peter took off the paper and opened the box. Inside were two pieces of paper. 2 tickets more like, to be exact. Tickets to his favorite band.

The concert was in a week.

Tears once again poured out of Peter's eyes. Aunt May liked giving gifts that would make memories. Things that would have them spend time together. It was one of the things he loved most about her.

Peter knew he would never use the chalk. He wasn't materialistic, but it was possibly one of the last things Aunt May had touched. And it was for him.

It meant to much to use. He could buy another bag anyways, and not have to use the one he was given.

Peter got picked up the blankets and got back in bed. He checked the time, 3:29 a.m. He still had a decent amount of sleep left, and somehow he felt different.

Better, after opening the presents. He was glad he did. They gave him some sort of peace he didn't know he needed.

For the first time since Aunt May died, Peter went to sleep and didn't have a nightmare.

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**What'd I tell ya? I update faster with more reviews ;)**

**(Don't get used to it, it may not always be in a day or 2. A week at most probably though) **

**For anyone new who doesn't understand, the presents came from the last story. Aunt May died the day before Peter's birthday and he had yet to open the gifts. **

**Please review, thanks :D**


	4. Chapter 4

The Avengers all hung around the kitchen, eating their breakfast. Some had cereal, others had pancakes made by Steve.

The team all made fun of the apron Steve was wearing. It was a light shade of pink and said "Kiss the Cook." Everyone took their turn at making fun of him, while Steve just laughed it off saying, "Quiet or I won't make you anymore pancakes."

Then Peter, who was almost always the last to come downstairs, walked through the doorway. Once again he was the last one there.

He took some pancakes and thanked Steve for making them. Peter joked about the apron as well, earning a threat for his pancakes to be taken away, which cause him to sarcastically apologize.

The day seemed to be off to a great start for Peter. That was cut short when Tony stood next to where he was sitting and tried talking to him.

"Hey, uh... how you doing?" Tony asked, hopeful for a response.

Peter shrunk back a little, still uncomfortable being near Tony. He looked down at his food and didn't say anything. The rest of the team acted like they weren't watching what was happening, but they were all secretly listening.

"Oh come on, are we back to this again?" Tony asked.

"No," Peter said simply.

The Avengers were all shocked. When did Peter say something to Tony? He had been faithful to his promise to never talk to Tony again, why did he break it?

"Thank goodness. Did you want to tell me what happened last ni-"

"Just because I said something to you doesn't mean I'm not still mad. Don't think we're cool," Peter said, cutting Tony off.

"Oh please, cut the drama. Do you actually think that staying mad at me forever is going to change my mind?" Tony said.

"Do actually think that keeping me from being Spider-Man will keep me safe?" Peter fired back.

"Well I mean-"

"How about all of the crime that happens in New York. What's going to happen when I go back to school? I can't stay in this prison forever, you know. Some day I'll walk the streets of New York again, and you're never safe when you do that," Peter said, again cutting Tony off and standing up.

The rest of the team just watched the argument play out. Steve and Bruce were worried it was going to get ugly, and fast, while Clint and Natasha sat back and enjoyed the show. Tony opened his mouth to say something but Peter spoke before he could.

"And you think that the time you decided to take it away will help either? I thought you said you lost your parents, so you would know how to help me. How did you cope with it? What would you do if the one thing you loved, the only thing that kept you sane, helped you forget, was unexpectedly taken away? Oh, but this way you'll be safe, right?

"I know the risk I take every time I go out as Spider-Man, the same risk you take when you go out as Iron Man. But Spider-Man, that's me. Take the suit away, whatever. You think I needed it? Before you came I wore normal clothes with eye holes cut out and goggles placed over them. I am Spider-Man," Peter said, almost spitting in Tony's face from how passionately he spoke.

"Fine, you're right. You are Spider-Man. But you're crazy if you think what I'm doing is wrong. If Spider-Man is your only distraction what are you going to do when you can't be him anymore? You can't cope by going out and saving people's lives then. You need to understand where I'm coming from.

"It's too dangerous now. You have to find a different way to deal with this. Talk to someone for a change. Do you want me to sign you up for therapy? Will that help?" Tony asked, frustrated.

"Stop controlling my life!" Peter said angrily.

"Look kid, I want the best for you, honest," Tony said, placing a hand on Peter's shoulder, "but if-"

Flashbacks of his dream flooded Peter's mind, and he wanted nothing more than to just get away from Tony right now.

Peter pushed Tony's hand off his shoulder. "D-Don't touch me," Peter said before running out of the room.

That made all the Avengers stand up and watch as Peter ran off.

"You really did it this time," Clint said to Tony. The team all went back to eating. Except Steve.

"I'll go talk to him," Steve said, untying his apron.

"No, Steve, I can handle it," Tony said, holding his and up.

"Sure, last time I checked you're the reason he ran off," Steve said, being stopped at the doorway by Tony.

"He's got a problem with me then it has to be fixed," Tony said.

"I agree, but now is not the time for that. Just—trust me, okay," Steve said, looking Tony in the eyes.

Tony stared back, pondering what Steve said, then just sighed and moved out of the way. Steve nodded at Tony and ran out to look for Peter.

It took a couple of minutes to find where the kid was, but then Steve actually thought about where he might go and found him immediately.

Peter was at the top of the building, sitting on the ledge and looking at the city. There was a cool breeze that circulated through the air.

Steve walked towards the kid and stopped behind him. He was about to say something when Peter beat him to it.

"Tony, if you're here to tell me I overreacted, then-" Peter stopped, turning around and seeing that it wasn't Tony. It was Steve?

"Hey," Steve said, then proceeded to sit down next to Peter.

"Hey," Peter said back, then looked down as he fidgeted with his hands.

"What was that back there?" Steve said after a minute of silence.

"I don't really want to talk about it. You'll think I'm immature," Peter said as he continued to look down.

"That's not true, Peter. Look at me," Steve said.

Hesitantly, Peter lifted his head and locked eyes with Steve.

"You can talk to me. Whatever the reason, I will not judge you. And if you want me to keep it a secret, then I won't say a word to anybody else," Steve said.

Peter nodded, slow at first, then a faster and more confident nod.

"It's just—I don't know. I get these nightmares, and they're all pretty similar. I end up seeing my aunt die, and I'm not able to save her cause I can't move or something," Peter said, earning an understanding nod from Steve to go on.

"But, last night's dream was... different. I still had to watch her die, only this time I could move. I tried to save her, but I was being held back by something. When I looked back to see who is was, it-it was Tony," Peter said, looking down again.

"And he said that since I wasn't Spider-Man anymore I couldn't save her. There were more people too. I saw so many people just die because I couldn't save them. The worst part was... Tony made me watch. I closed my eyes when May was about to die, but everything stopped. Tony—he forcefully held my eyelids open and made me watch May get killed.

"I woke up to Tony being in my room, he-he was holding my arms just like in my dreams. I don't know why he was there, he must get alerted when I have a bad dream or something. He seems to always come in the room when that happens. But now, I just can't stop thinking that Tony is holding me back from saving people. He... scares me. See, it's dumb," Peter said as he fidgeted with his hands once again.

"No it's not. I can't imagine what you're going through. I know Tony says he's experienced the same thing, but I doubt he was as close with his parents as you were with your aunt. People have different ways of dealing with the pain that comes, and I think that's something Tony doesn't understand," Steve said.

"That's just it, he doesn't understand. I mean, I get telling me I can't be Spider-Man for a couple weeks to heal—but he wants me to give it up?! I don't get it," Peter said with a sigh.

"Honestly, you've gotta understand where he's coming from. Now I'm not at all saying that what he's doing is right, but his heart is in the right place. He wants you safe. I haven't talked to you that much, but I can tell you're a good kid. Tony sees that. He likes you. I think almost losing you made him realize how much he cares about you.

"Was it wrong for him to take away Spider-Man? Of course. But at the same time it should mean something to you. I know if I almost died and Tony had the authority to say I couldn't be Captain America anymore he wouldn't enforce it. You mean more to him. I just don't know how to make him see it from your perspective," Steve said.

"Well... yeah. I get where he's coming from now. And I don't know how to get him to actually open his eyes either. It's like Spider-Man means so much I can't even put it in words. I can't describe how much it helps," Peter said.

"I totally agree. If someone tried telling me I couldn't be Captain America anymore I'd laugh at them. It's become such a huge part of my life, I couldn't just quit or give up," Steve said.

"Yeah," Peter said.

The two heroes looked at the city for a while, neither saying a word.

Interrupting the silence was Peter's stomach. It growled loudly, making Steve laugh.

"Guessing you're still hungry?" Steve asked.

"Haha, yeah. I didn't get to eat much earlier," Peter said.

"How about we head back down and I'll make you some more pancakes. Those other Avengers are savages, I'd bet the food's gone by now," Steve said.

"Only if I get to make fun of your pretty apron," Peter said, laughing.

"Deal. Race you," Steve said.

It was a race indeed. Both Steve and Peter tried tripping each other to make it before the other did. In the end, Peter won.

He laughed and told Steve he lost because he was old. Steve just laughed back and started making more food.

The rest of the team was gone now, and Peter wondered where they went. His mind drifted away from that question when Steve slid pancakes off his pan and onto Peter's plate.

Peter was glad he talked to Steve about what was bothering him. It made him feel good to know someone understood. He just hoped Tony would too.

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**Another chapter in the books :)**

**I'm going on a couple of trips next month, so expect really scattered updates from here on. I'll do my best to get it out as quickly as possible. **

**Please review :D**


	5. Chapter 5

Peter sat up in bed, sweat rolling down his face, from having yet another nightmare. He didn't pretend to sleep this time, he knew Tony was going to open the door and come in the room any second now. As if on cue, Peter heard the door knob being turned, and looked straight at the person who walked in. It was Tony, as he predicted.

"How come you come in here every time I have a nightmare? Do you spy on me or something?" Peter asked.

"What? No… I mean I programmed F.R.I.D.A.Y. to tell me when you show signs of having one but-"

"What?! Privacy is a thing, you know?" Peter said, crossing his shoulders.

"Yeah, well let me tell you, this isn't something you should want to be private. Well, it's not like the whole world should know, but it is better to talk to someone about it," Tony said, sitting at the corner of Peter's bed.

"Do you ever let me decide for myself? I want to be Spider-Man, but do you let me? Clearly that isn't working out for me, so what makes you think that talking about my nightmares will?"

"Look kid," Tony sighed, "I get it. It's not that I don't know how much being Spider-Man means to you, believe it or not. But you put yourself in so much danger, it's safer if you give it up."

"You're crazy. How is me going out as Spider-Man different from you going out as Iron-Man? Not to mention people know your identity. Don't go making rules you can't follow," Peter said.

"It is different. I'm older, more experienced, and I know more than you do. Besides, you go in the streets while I face real threats," Tony said.

"Real threats? You think just because an attack isn't against more than one person it doesn't make it a threat? You're unbelievable," Peter said, throwing his hands up in confusion.

"That's not what I meant. It's just... look forget I said that. The point is it's dangerous and you're not ready. You're head's not in the right place," Tony said.

"You're just saying that. Even if it was, you'd pull the, 'it's too dangerous for someone your age,' card," Peter said.

"Maybe if you made an effort to get better, there'd be some kind of chance I'd let you be Spider-Man. Starting with talking about your nightmares?" Tony said.

"You want to know what my nightmares are about? Fine. They're about you," Peter said, earning a confused look from Tony, "I mean, sure they all include May, but the nightmare is you. And you wanna know why? It's because _you_ won't let me be Spider-Man.

"You know how many dreams I have of you holding me back, telling me I can't save someone? It all ends the same way. I'm forced to watch Aunt May die, and you're the reason."

"Oh, Pete," Tony whispered, then sighed, "I'm sorry kid."

"Say you're sorry all you want, but it's never gonna change if you still say I can't be Spider-Man," Peter said.

"I wish you could see it from my point of view," Tony said.

"Your point of view? What about mine? Don't act like you know how I feel," Peter said, looking away from Tony's eyes.

"I do," Tony said, making Peter look at him again, "I had nightmares, just as bad as you. I had panic attacks. I was depressed. Trust me, I know what it's like. Don't think for a second I haven't put myself in your shoes. It's safer if you give up Spider-Man."

"Unbelievable. I can't believe you actually think that's gonna help. And besides all of this, why don't you let me even leave to hang out with my friend?" Peter asked.

"How do I know you want to hangout with your friend if you never tell me? Communication is important," Tony said.

"That 'communication,'" Peter said, doing air quotes with his fingers, "doesn't mean anything if you don't ever listen! How many times have I tried to _communicate_ to you that Spider-Man means more to me than you could ever know? Do you think about that?"

"My gosh, get over it! That's all you ever use!" Tony said.

"You'd think that would help get my point across. Guess not with you," Peter said.

"Look, kid-"

"Just go, Tony," Peter said.

"No, we're gonna talk," Tony said.

"I'm not," Peter said, "get out."

Tony stared at Peter for a minute, before giving up and making his way to leave.

"Oh, and by the way, I'm going to a concert with Ned this Friday," Peter said.

"Maybe he can knock some sense into you," Tony said before leaving and shutting the door.

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**Sorry it was short. To anyone who may have read the old chapter 5, i hated the idea of a therapist and decided to rewrite it. Hope you like this one better :)**

**Leave a review please :D**


	6. Chapter 6

"You can't be serious. Please tell me you're joking," Peter said to Tony in shock.

"I'm nothing but serious, you're not going," Tony replies firmly.

"I can't believe you," Peter said, crossing his arms and shaking his head, "why can't I go to the concert?"

"Well let's see," Tony said, counting with his fingers as he listed reasons, "you still aren't in a good state of mind, you have been nothing but rude to me as of lately, and your room is a mess!"

"You're not my dad. In fact, you're nothing close to even being my friend!" Peter shouted, "why should I listen to you?"

"You don't have a choice," Tony said.

"I don't care what you say. I'm going. How am I supposed to get better if you won't let me do normal teenage things like going to a concert with my friend? Ned is going to pick me up in a couple of hours," Peter said.

"No he won't. Find something else. Maybe when you get a better attitude I'll consider letting you do something. Until then, you're starting here," Tony said calmly, "and don't try to leave, I'll have security make sure you don't."

Peter looked down. He remembered opening the present from Aunt May and being so happy to have gotten the tickets. How dare Tony not let him go. Tears welled up in his eyes.

"The tickets to the concert were Aunt May's birthday gift to me," Peter quietly said as tears slowly rolled down his cheeks.

Peter did a 180° turn around sharply, headed for his room. Tony instantly realized his mistake.

"Wait, Peter," Tony called out to him.

"Leave me alone. Never talk to me again," Peter stopped to say, then continued making a mad dash to his room.

Tony sighed. Peter would cool off. In the meantime, he was hungry. He made his way to the kitchen. When he got there, Steve was sitting down, eating leftovers.

"What happened this time?" Steve asked with his mouth full.

"I made a big mistake," Tony said, not even commenting on Steve talking with his mouth full.

Steve swallowed, "You're just now realizing that?" He said with a small laugh.

"I haven't done anything wrong until now. I don't regret any decision I've made," Tony said confidently.

"All right, tough guy. How did it all go down just a few minutes ago?" Steve asked, handing some leftovers to Tony.

"He wants to go to a concert with his friend."

"Great! Hopefully it's a step in the right direction."

"No, not great. He isn't going."

"Tony, tell me you aren't really gonna tell the kid he can't go."

"Why should he? He's been disrespectful, his room is a wreck, and he still isn't in a good condition."

"Sounds like a normal teenager to me. You're being way too hard on the kid. If he didn't do those things, I'd be afraid he's not human," Steve said.

"But—" Tony stopped.

He couldn't think of what to say. He really messed up. Steve was... right. That hurt to admit.

"So why was it a big mistake before I gave you this revelation?" Steve asked, taking a drink of water.

"Well, before he left... Peter told me that the tickets to the concert were a gift from his aunt," Tony said, being eaten by guilt.

"Are you serious?!" Steve said, almost spitting out his water.

"I didn't know until he said it!" Tony said in defense.

"You need to let him go to that concert."

Tony sighed.

"Yeah, I do need to let him go, don't I? He's still got time to get ready. I'll eat then go talk to him. That is, if he'll talk back."

"Good luck," Steve said, patting Tony's shoulder before leaving.

"Trust me, I'll need it," Tony said under his breath.

* * *

"Leave me alone. Never talk to me again."

Peter stormed off, somewhat hoping Tony would come after him. He didn't.

He made it to his room and slammed the door shut. He wondered how the door was still on it's hinges considering he slammed it so often. He locked the door.

Peter clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palms. His eyes wandered to the pocketknife on his desk. He didn't want to do it... he couldn't give in again.

But the pain was too much. The voices in his head telling him he was useless got louder and louder. Finally, he went over to his desk and grabbed the knife.

_Just a couple_, Peter thought.

However, a couple turned into a few. A few turned into some, and some turned into multiple. The louder the voices, the deeper the cuts. And the voices got really loud.

After about 20 minutes, he was done. For all the cutting he did on his arms, not a lot of blood was on the floor. He threw a shirt over it, making a mental note to clean it later.

Peter went to wash the wounds, putting the water near boiling temperature, or at least that's how it felt. And it felt good. He turned it off, bandaging his arms.

He was so mad at Tony. He hated the name. Who was he to tell Peter what he could and couldn't do? Who does he think he is? Peter never asked to be taken in by him. Maybe his life would be so much better if Ned and his family took him in instead of Tony.

_I'd just annoy them anyways_, Peter thought.

Just as he finished bandaging, he heard a knock on his door. He quickly pulled the sleeves on his shirt down, covering the bandages. He waited until he heard a second knock to respond.

Once the person knocked again, he said a simple, "what?"

"Can I come in?" Peter heard someone say.

Not just someone, the most annoying, narcissistic, self-absorbed, careless, stupid person he could think of. Tony Stark.

"No, I told you to leave me alone," Peter said angrily.

"You and I both know that's not going to happen."

"Fine, don't leave me alone. Doesn't mean I won't ignore you."

"I thought you wanted to be a normal teenager, not a normal two-year-old."

Peter didn't respond.

Tony sighed, "look, kid. You can go to the concert. It took me a long time to realize it, but I see now that I've been way too hard on you. Can you please open the door so we can talk?"

Peter still didn't say anything. After a minute, Tony decided to just give the kid some space. He was about to leave, until he heard the doorknob being turned. The door cracked open and a still tear stained face appeared in the crack.

They both awkwardly went in the room and sat on the bed. Silence filled the room for the next two minutes, but it felt much longer than that to the two of them.

"What made you change your mind?" Peter asked.

"Surprisingly, it was Steve," Tony replied.

"Look, I'm sorry I haven't been the best... guardian? I'm sorry I haven't been the authority you needed. I'm not used to this whole teenager thing. From now on, I want to give you a lot more freedom. I'm going to expect you to be a teenager, not an adult," Tony said.

"Really? That's... thank you," Peter replies gratefully.

"Don't thank me, I'm sorry I haven't been what you needed at a time like this."

"It's okay. Like you said, you don't have experience."

"From now on, we try to work things out? No shutting each other out?" Tony asked.

"Deal," Peter said.

Without thinking, Tony went to hug Peter. Surprisingly (at least to Tony), Peter hugged him back.

Peter pulled out of the embrace, asking Tony a question.

"Does this mean you'll let me be Spider-Man again?"

"Woah there, slow down. Baby steps, okay? Maybe, _just maybe_, it could be a possibility in your future. Just, not right now," Tony said.

"Sounds fair."

"Well, I'll get out of your way. You have a concert to get ready for," Tony said, standing up.

"Wait," Peter said, stopping Tony before he was out of the room, "thank you, Tony. Really, thank you."

"No problem, kid."

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**Wow, I'm literally so sorry it took that long to update. I do have time to write, but being in college makes it a lot harder to add putting up more chapters to the pile of work. I'm going to do my best to finish this asap, though! Please don't unfollow, I will finish this :)**

**Please review :D**


	7. Chapter 7

Peter finished getting ready, topping it off with a couple sprays of cologne. He stood in the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror. He fixed his hair again for the thousandth time.

Earlier, Peter put on a long sleeve shirt. It was the only "merch" he bought from the band. It was bought online though, so seeing them in person would be much different and better. However, the shirt was a bit thin and tight, making the bandages on Peter's arms show underneath.

Easy fix for him, though. Peter took off the bandages, his cuts already scabbed from earlier. His phone buzzed, receiving a text from Ned that he was outside and ready to pick up Peter.

He grabbed his new wallet Tony had gotten him a couple weeks ago, also filled by money Tony put in there. He put his phone in his pocket and was about to leave, before he stopped and decided one more spray of cologne wouldn't hurt. He took the cap off and sprayed the manly perfume in the air, proceeding to walk into its mist. He placed the bottle back on the counter and made his way outside to Ned.

Before he was out of the building, Tony, who came out of no where, stopped him.

"What time will you be back?" Tony asked.

"Um, I'm not sure. I've never been to a concert before, so I don't know how long they last. I promise I'll be back as soon as it's over, though," Peter replied.

"Don't feel rushed, just don't come back too late."

"Thanks," Peter said, then made his way out to Ned.

"Don't drink or do drugs!" Tony said.

"Yeah right, I'm sixteen!" Peter shouted back, shutting the door behind him.

He found Ned's car (technically Ned's parents car), and got in.

"Hey man," Peter said.

"Hey Pet— my gosh, a little overkill don't you think?" Ned said, plugging his nose to block out the smell of Peter's cologne.

"Sorry, guess I got a little carried away there."

"No girl is gonna want you if you smell like that!"

"Good, I'll use it as my excuse now anytime you try to get me to "find a girlfriend," as you say," Peter said, air quoting with his fingers.

"Whatever. Tonight is gonna be awesome!"

"I know, I can't wait!"

The car ride was short, but mostly consisted of Peter and Ned fangirling over the band they were about to see. Soon enough, they arrived. The concert was outside, which Peter thought would be awesome because the weather was perfect. It wasn't too cold or hot, and there was an occasional slight breeze, not one that was chilling but comforting.

"Thank you for taking us, Mrs. Leeds," Peter said.

"Yeah, thanks mom," Ned said.

"No problem. You boys have fun, now. Ned, here's some money in case you want to buy anything," Ned's mom said, reaching her hand out to give Ned $40.

"Oh, I have more than enough money to buy us both food and merch," Peter said.

"We couldn't take your money, Peter," Ned's mom said, still holding the money out for Ned to take.

"Please, Tony Stark is my legal guardian. He replace his toilet paper with hundred dollar bills and still be rich. Besides, you brought us, and you're gonna take us home. Think of this as me repaying you," Peter said reassuringly.

"Well… are you sur—"

"Mom, of course we're not gonna take Peter's money— or Mr. Stark's money, whosever it is," Ned said, cutting his mom off and taking the $40 from her.

"All right, I'll pick you guys up later. Text me when it's over," Ned's mom said, before driving off.

"You're really not going to let me pay for the both of us?" Peter asked.

"What? Of course you're going to pay for both of us. I'll just tell my mom I spent my money and keep it instead."

"Sometimes I don't know if you're smart or stupid."

"I'll take smart for one hundred."

Peter just laughed. "I think you mean forty. The doors open in fifteen minutes, let's get in line."

The fifteen minutes felt like three, and the expression "time goes by fast when you're having fun" proved true for the two boys.

This was the first time they had hung out outside of Ned's house since Aunt May's death. Normally, Peter would fake acting like he was getting better, but tonight was all real. Every smile his face showed was genuine, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he was having fun.

The concert started, and both Peter and Ned sang along to every song. For some of their favorite ones, they would compete to see who could sing the loudest. It annoyed the people around them, but they tried not to do it too much, and overall they really didn't care. They were having the time of their lives.

After 30 minutes, it started to rain. Not a heavy rain, but a light, constant rain. Even though that sounds like something that would wreck the day, it only made it better. Each time the lights would flash, the raindrops would all be lit up, making it look like Christmas, but even better. Not to mention they weren't getting soaked from it.

The night went on, with the boys singing their hearts out. This was Peter's first concert, and any ones he would go to in the future might never live up to the hype this one was.

At one point, they decided to get food since they were hungry. They stood in line, squinting their eyes to read every item on the menu.

"Six dollars for a hotdog?!" Ned said loudly.

"Quiet, Ned. It's a concert, of course the food is going to be expensive. But I have Tony's money, remember?" Peter said, subtly pulling out his wallet and showing Ned the inside, filled with hundreds and hundreds.

"Jeez Peter, you weren't kidding. You can't buy the food with hundreds though."

"I know. That's why we're going to use your 40 dollars," Peter said, elbowing Ned now that they were next to be served.

"What? No way, I told you I'm keeping it."

"I'll give you a hundred for it."

"Did you even need to ask?" Ned said, with a big smile on his face.

They got their food and drinks, quickly devouring it and then going back to their spot in the general admission area. Again, they sang loudly, until the concert was over. The flood of people leaving was like a stampede. A drunk girl tripped, and spilled her beer all over Peter, and some of it got on Ned, but not a lot.

"Oops, haha—I-I'm sorryyyyy," The girl said, then just left, while Peter was soaked. She didn't even pick up her dropped cup.

"How nice of her," Peter said, still frozen with his hands up like he had been when it was all spilled on him.

"Sorry, dude, but I don't even think all that cologne you put on would be enough to cover that smell."

"Oh well, I just hope the smell comes out. This is the only merch I have."

"You know what that means," Ned said with a wink.

"What?"

"Time to spend all of Mr. Stark's money on more merch, duh."

"Very funny. We're not spending it all. I don't even think they would have enough variety for me to buy both of us one of everything and run out of money."

"Only one way to find out," Ned said, grabbing Peter's arm as he began to drag him to the merch table.

Peter almost jerked his hand out of Ned's grasp in pain, which didn't go unnoticed by his friend, but didn't and managed to hold back a yelp of pain. The best he could do was visibly winced. But since Ned wasn't looking, it didn't matter. _Phew, close one_, Peter thought.

The line was crazy long, considering the concert just ended and everyone was wanting to buy stuff. Once again, the pair made the wait feel like nothing as they talked about all sorts of things, from their favorite breakfast foods to Star Wars.

"Oh man, I like that shirt! Oh that one's cool too. Peter! Do you see that hat? It would look great with the hoodie and—"

"Relax, Ned. I still don't want to spend a crazy amount," Peter said, cutting his friend off.

"But, but, but—"

"No buts. What are you, 5?"

"What are you, 5?" Ned mimicked, then realized his mistake once Peter laughed at him.

"You just proved my point!"

"Whatever. I want that shirt and that hat," Ned said, pointing to his selections. "What are you gonna get?"

"Probably just that hoodie at the top right."

"Where?" Ned said, unable to find it.

"The top right, Ned."

"I don't see—" Peter took Ned's head and turned it in the direction of the hoodie. "Ohhh that one. Nice choice, dude."

They made it to the front and told the people working the table what they wanted. As Peter reached for the hoodie, Ned noticed his sleeve ride up and saw what looked like a cut on his arm. He decided to wait until they were out of line to ask him what happened.

Once they were, Ned spared no time in asking, "What happened to your arm?"

"What? Nothing," Peter said quickly, instinctively pulling his sleeves down past his wrists.

"C'mon, I saw a cut on it. Did a cat scratch you?" Ned teased.

"Nope, nothing happened."

"Are you okay, dude? Why won't you just tell me what happened?" Ned asked as he reached to pull up Peter's sleeve, starting to wonder if he really did see a cut or not.

"I went out as Spider-Man and got cut. No big deal," Peter said, making up the best and most believable lie he could on the spot.

It seemed to work, cause Ned just nodded. A couple seconds later, and realization hit him.

"You said you haven't been able to go out as Spider-Man," Ned challenged.

"Well Tony had a change of heart."

"Mhmmmmm… When?"

"Last week."

"Aha! Tuesday we were texting and you said you hadn't been able to go out as Spider-Man still. Since it's Friday, that was…" Ned counted on his fingers, "3 days ago!"

"Congrats, you're good at math," Peter said, desperately wanting to change the subject.

"So what did you do?" Ned asked, crossing his arms.

Peter heard his phone go off, and internally sighed, hoping it would end the conversation. "Is that your mom? Is she here?"

"I'm not checking until you tell me what's up."

"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine, seriously."

"Okay, then let me see your arms."

"Ned, can we talk about this another tim—"

"No, Peter. Now either you lift up your sleeves and show me, or I'll do it myself. I don't care if you're Spider-Man, I will beat you."

It sounded like a stupid thing to say, but Ned was right. Peter didn't have the strength to fight Ned. He didn't want to either. Hesitantly, he pulled up his right sleeve, since it had fewer cuts.

Ned dropped his merch to the ground and delicately grabbed Peter's arm. "Peter…" He said in a low whisper.

"Let me see the other one," Ned insisted.

"What? No it's the same as this one, there's nothing to see—"

Ned grabbed Peter's left hand and lifted the sleeve up himself, exposing more cuts, probably four times as many on his other arm.

"Peter… why?" Ned asked.

"Why what?" Peter shyly replied, dumbly hoping Ned didn't know he was cutting himself.

"Why do you hurt yourself?" Ned demanded.

Crap. He knew. What was he supposed to say? Tony took away his dress up and he couldn't handle it? He was plagued with nightmares and this made him forget for a short amount of time?

All that came out was, "It's too much."

"What's too much?"

Peter blinked hard, looking down. "Everything! Aunt may, Tony, Spider-Man, the dreams, the pain. Everything is too much."

"Peter, you could have told me. I'll help yo—"

"No!" Peter said, pulling his hand out of Ned's grasp and puling the sleeves down. "Besides, it isn't that bad. It's not like I do It all the time."

"But you have super healing abilities. This was recent."

Peter looked down again. The grass was pretty boring to look at but it was better than seeing Ned's eyes. He couldn't figure out what emotions they held. He guessed disappointment. Pity. The last thing he wanted was pity.

"Peter, when did you do this?"

Peter looked Ned in the eyes. He could tell Ned was concerned. Worried. For him. He hated making people worry about him. Aunt May did it all the time.

"Before I left…" Peter said in a hushed voice, just below a whisper.

"Dude… we can fix this," Ned said hopefully.

"Is that what this is? Just something you can fix? Cause it's not. It's much more than that, Ned. It helps me! You said it yourself, I have super healing abilities. A couple days go by and it never happened!" Peter said, frustrated. Ned wouldn't understand.

"Of course it happened! As long as it doesn't kill you, physical wounds such as cuts will heal! They leave scars, Peter."

"You think I don't know that? It's worth it. I just can't take the pain. This," Peter said, lifting up his sleeve, "This helps. It distracts me."

"What happens if you cut too deep, huh? What if you slit your wrist on accident and bleed to death? Ever think about that?"

"It's not like there would be anyone here that would care!" Peter almost shouted.

They had been outside the arena where the concert was held, so luckily nobody was able to hear their conversation.

"I would care! Heck, my mom would care! You know she thinks of you as her son? What about Tony, or—"

"Tony would celebrate. He would throw the biggest funeral ever, in celebration. He would bring confetti, and tell people to dress in bright colors instead of black. You guys are basically all I've got." Peter said, running a hand through his hair.

How did this go from the best day ever to the worst of his life in a few minutes?

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is that not enough, your majesty?" Ned said, then bowed.

"You know I didn't mean it like that," Peter said.

"Let me help you, Peter!"

"How? You think I haven't already tried? It isn't something I can just stop. Maybe over time, I will get better, and as a result I'll be able to resist the urge to hurt myself. But right now, I just can't."

"Pete—" Ned was cut off from his phone buzzing like crazy. He quickly dug it out and answered the phone.

"Hey, mom…. Yeah, no we're done. We just got some stuff, it was a long line… Yep, okay. See you soon, love you," Ned ended the call, looking back up to Peter.

"Dude, we could tell my mom, she could—"

"No way! We are not telling your mom how much of a baby I am that I have to cut myself."

"So what are you going to do when the pain isn't enough anymore?" Ned asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Eventually, your body is going to be used to you cutting. You'll want to feel more, and because of that you'll do worse. Soon enough, even suicide probably wouldn't do the trick."

"How do you know?"

"My mom had a close friend that committed suicide. Then she went into depression, like hard-core. Luckily she came out of that, but I don't want you to be her friend. And to be honest, I don't want to end up like my mom was," Ned said sadly.

That's when Peter made a stupid decision. Truthfully, stupid was an understatement. He thought about what Ned just said. And he was right. What if Peter killed himself? How would it affect Ned? But he couldn't just stop.

That's when he decided it would be better to stop talking to Ned now so he could avoid the pain later. Peter thought if he and Ned stopped being friends, it wouldn't hurt Ned too bad when he did something very dumb, like committing suicide. On purpose or accidentally.

"You're right," Peter said, making Ned feel super happy, but that was short lived when Peter finished his sentence.

"I can't hurt you. We shouldn't be friends anymore."

"What? Peter, that is not what I meant—"

"Just, go to your mom. I'm walking home. Please, Ned, forget about me. Save yourself from the hurt. I'm walking home," Peter said.

"That's ridiculous," Ned said as he watched Peter put his new hoodie on. He pulled the hood over his head and put his hands in his pockets, then started walking away.

"Peter! You can't get rid of me that easily," Ned said, but to his dismay Peter kept walking.

Ned wanted to chase after him, he really did. But they were in New York, and his mom would kill him if he was even ten feet away from the arena area. Once again, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He answered it.

"Yeah, I'm coming….. Oh, Peter? He uh… said he was going to walk home. Nice weather, I guess."

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**Wow, it has been over 2 months since I updated this. I am so sorry. Things really got crazy, and school started again, and I just wasn't able to find time to write. Also this chapter was the longest one I have EVER written, but I was just pounding the keyboard and this is what I produced. Is anyone still here and reading this? If so let me know and please review :)**


	8. Chapter 8

Peter was walking home, hands in his pockets, now drenched in his new hoodie. The rain picked up, like it would in any movie when a sad scene plays. Why did Ned have to find out?

A part of him wanted someone to know about his cutting. He desperately wanted to talk about everything that was bothering him, but he felt it wouldn't be enough. Nothing could make the pain go away like the cutting did, right?

He just hoped Ned would listen to him. Peter was slightly crying, but the rain made it go unnoticed, not to say if it was noticeable anyone would say anything. Lately he had just been feeling useless. He never believed in the saying "boys don't cry" but this was just getting ridiculous. It felt as if everyday he had some kind of event, dream, flashback, SOMETHING that made him cry.

That night Peter decided to never let people get close again. Being so close to Aunt May and Uncle Ben was amazing, but losing them brought him so much pain. He was starting to get closer with Tony, and then everything went crazy bad. Now Ned? Peter used to think bad luck just ran in his family, now he was starting to wonder if he WAS the bad luck. If he never got close to anyone it wouldn't be as hard to see them go than if he was close with them. Cause no one would stay, right?

Right. He would make sure no one would get close enough for him to have to ask that question again.

He looked up, finally making it back to Avengers tower. He wanted to go straight to his room, but he assumed Tony would want to see him before, considering it was the first time he had really been out in a while.

He made his way to the lounge area, assuming that's where he'd be. His guess proved to be right as he walked in and saw Tony, cooking? He never really expected the millionaire to cook for himself, but he should know by know Tony's full of surprises.

"Where's the team?" Peter asked.

"Watching a new movie. It wasn't really my taste and I wanted to stay and wait for this teenager to get home safe. So how was the concer—why are you soaking wet?" Tony asked, finally turning around and seeing water dripping from Peter's clothes.

"It's raining cats and dogs," Peter said calmly, pointing to a window behind him with his thumb.

"Really? I hadn't noticed," Tony said sarcastically, "but it wasn't raining that bad earlier. Besides, the drive could've given you some time to dry off. You didn't walk home, did you?"

Peter was about to say something before realizing Tony said home. Months had passed and he still hadn't grasped that the tower was now, in fact, his home, and that this was his life. It had been for weeks.

"Hello? Earth to Peter," Tony said, snapping his fingers in the kid's face, "answer the question."

"What? Obviously I didn't walk home, Tony. That's crazy," Peter said with a nervous laugh.

"Fine, I'll just ask F.R.I.D.A.Y. to show me the last ten minutes of video footage from the camera outside then."

Tony opened his mouth, but Peter cut him off before he could speak.

"Okay! I walked home."

"And why would you do that?"

Of all the excuses to use, Peter's first one he thought of was '_it was a nice day_.' He quickly shot that down, lightning striking outside as if to remind him just how flooded the streets were becoming.

"I just… hadn't been out in a while. The weather wasn't as close to being as bad as it is now, so I wanted to walk home, I guess."

"You guess? Do you know how careless that was? Someone could've tried mugging you, or kidnapping you, or worse!"

"Yeah, well just because you took away my suit doesn't mean you took away my powers. I could've taken either of those guys."

"You're missing my point," Tony said, running a hand through his hair, "Look, Pete, you've managed to make it on a very small list of people I care about. Whether or not you have powers, or abilities, it doesn't change anything, so I'm sorry if my protectiveness upsets you. I just want you to be safe."

"We're in New York, Tony. Safe is practically inevitable. Why can't you see that? You think taking away Spider-Man will protect me but it only puts me in danger. You took my web shooters, something I always carried with me in case I was ever in danger. And yeah, I save other people too, but you have no right to tell me I can't do that while your Iron Man suits are in the same tower we live in!"

"This must be why people don't have kids," Tony mumbled to himself, "I thought it would be great because you're a mature teenager, so I skipped past the hard parts, but I guess I was wrong. You don't understand."

"Then help me understand! And don't give me that 'you'll understand when you're older' crap because I don't want to hear it!"

"Yeah? Well maybe I don't want to tell it. You don't need to understand everything. Why can't I have a conversation with you that doesn't end with us fighting?"

"I don't know, maybe because you've practically ruined my life ever since I've come here."

"All right, that's enough. Go to your room," Tony said, pointing towards the elevator.

"I will, but don't think I'm doing it because I'm listening to you. I'm only doing it to get away from you," Peter said, turning quickly and going to his room.

Tony sighed. In his mind, he truly didn't understand where he'd gone wrong. He was starting to realize that Peter really did need Spider-Man, but Peter was in no condition to go out at night. He would be too reckless, and maybe even get himself killed because of it. Tony wasn't willing to take that risk.

Meanwhile, a frustrated teenager made it to his room. Peter slammed the door, wanting Tony to hear it, although it wasn't likely. He was so angry at Tony, he took the papers on his desk and shoved them off. He kicked the chair so hard it flew into the wall and busted through some of the drywall.

He sat on the bed, not caring that the water was soaking through his clothes into the sheets. He pulled at his hair with both hands, hating everything. After a few minutes he stopped, though his mind was still racing. Lightning struck and the glint of his pocketknife caught his eye.

Peter stared at. Ned was right; cutting would never be enough. But he could just end it all.

Peter eyed his arms, noticing how much the cuts had already healed. Never had he cut close to his wrist before, fearing he might accidentally cut a vein or artery. That wasn't something he wanted to explain to Tony. If he was dead, he wouldn't have to.

Peter made his decision, grabbing the knife and taking his spot back on the bed. He pulled his sleeve up. All he had to do was cut deep enough, then it would all be over.

**X**

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**Sorry it's short and a cliffhanger. I was going to update it sooner, but corona happened and my classes became way more difficult online. I finally finished my semester, so I'm hoping to finish this story soon. **

**Please review :) I'll be back soon.**


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